She flies without wings...

In the Memory of Mary...


After stressful times at work, I went out to the desert, to wash my stress away...and there, I went riding and came out with something...

When I ride Meryt (my little mare: Meryt means my beloved in ancient egyptian), this is the world she takes me to. My focus turns inward and my emotions turn on. When I am with my horse, I feel more than analyze, move more than ponder, accept instead of judge.
Her unity with the outside world is so absolute that I have no choice but to follow her into it. I must stop thinking about deadlines and the to do list and the presentation I'm scheduled to give next month because they have no place in the world my equine guide is showing me. I cannot help but open my eyes to what she sees and my ears to what she hears. I note the flicker of a cottontail disappearing into the brush ahead and hear the call of the meadowlark before spotting it. I swim in her quiet.

As minutes tick by to the rhythm of Meryt's hooves, my most timid inner voice begins to speak. It is timid because it is accustomed to being drowned by the clatter of the world I live in. With a horse in my company and a horse in my consciousness, I am guided. Alone with this guide mare, the voice raises itself to remark on the beauty and variability of the creation around me, on the difference even a slight breeze feels brushing my bare arms, on the fact that spring smells like a greeting while fall holds the scent of things past. I find myself reassured that, no matter how much my material world changes, the world Meryt takes me to, offers constants I can return to again and again without ever wearing them out. Making my way through a moment with my horse, I am reminded of what is enduring and what is only passing, and this reminder helps me put my daily challenges into healthier perspective.

While we are journeying, Meryt's animal spirit envelops me. Her breathing rises to match my breathing. Her animal warmth becomes my warmth. If Meryt were not carrying me into her moment, I could find a moment of my own, but it would not be the same. It is in part the softness of fur against my skin, the sparkle of her coat in the sun, and the warmth of her existence warming my existence that lifts me out of the corporeal world and gently sets me in a spiritual one. I become the goddess who is alive to the fullest only when astride her mare.

Meryt have not made me fearless. I am not sure I know anybody who is totally without fear. But my horse have led me toward fearlessness. The physicality required to work successfully with a horse has given me confidence in my body. The uncanny way Meryt reveals my feelings and nature, good and bad, has conditioned me to candour with others and myself.

Horses put distance between me and the trepidations that might otherwise lay hold of me. In their company, I feel my apprehensions falling away and my spirit rising on the updraft of growing confidence. I look around and find I am no longer tethered to the earth. The cares that weigh me down are temporarily lifted. I touch the clouds and hear the whispers of the divine.


The horse is my talisman and my guide. It is the spirit I claim for myself and the leader I trust to carry me beyond my material world into a holier place. The horse is just a symbol of each person's talisman. The guide could never be seen, but can always be dreamt of. We know we have found our own talisman when we touch an image or presence that lifts us out of our material world and carries us so high above it that we begin to see the threads that connect us to the rest of the universe and more importantly to the true nature of ourselves.

On my way back, I listened to the sound track of the Spirit of the Stallion of Cimarron…Mary’s favourite, and remembered her favourite song from the track by Bryan Adams…
These are the Lyrics,
I had a dream - of the wide open prairie
I had a dream - of the pale morning sky
I had a dream - that we flew on golden wings
And we were the same - just the same - you and I
Follow your heart - little child of the west wind
Follow the voice - that's calling you home
Follow your dreams - but always, remember me
I am your brother - under the sun

We are like birds of a feather
We are two hearts joined together
We will be forever as one
My brother under the sun

Wherever you hear - the wind in the canyon
Wherever you see - the buffalo run
Wherever you go - I'll be there beside you
Cos you are my brother - my brother under the sun